I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
