somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
