it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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