ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
