The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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