This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
