After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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