I want to make a zoo with you.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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