I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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