Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
