That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he was CRYING into my vagina
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
