it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
