At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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