Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
