So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
