As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
