Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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