Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
