Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
