Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
