I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
