Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
