its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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