eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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