he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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