I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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