Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
