Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
