he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
