I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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