FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
