My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
