If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
