If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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