Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
