I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
