Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
