Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its not stalking. its research.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
