So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
