I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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