But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
