If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
