I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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