I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
