I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
