she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
