I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
