I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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