Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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