Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My cat gives me a boner
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's the barista slut.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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