I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
