I'm drive I can fine osifer
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
