the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
